Famous Last Words: One Month Countdown

Well I am officially less than one month from graduation. And I have to tell y'all, I'm terrified. I feel like my thoughts are a running loop of curse words. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, but as the day grows closer I'm becoming... resigned I think is the word I would use. Resigned to the fact that whatever happens, happens. If I don't graduate with honors because I didn't finish my honors thesis, that's what happens. If I end up with a horrible grade in my French Lit class, that's what happens.

I'm feeling ok about this class. The grade I want is within reach as long as i stay on top of assignments for these last three weeks coming up. I'll be cutting it close, but it's definitely possible.

But there are other big things happening! I got accepted into the program in France where I'll be an English teaching assistant in France for 7 months. I'm excited, but also feeling a lot of other emotions...

I'm getting real fidgety as I finish college. I want to get a job, I want to actually have money, and I want to start seeing a future. I am afraid that running away to France for seven months and living off my small assistant stipend will get me further away from finding a goal. I don't want to get to month 4 of this program and feel stuck. My friend is doing the program now, and she talks about how purposeless it often feels. The traveling while I'm there will be fun, but I won't have much money to do it!

How I feel, yo
Source: Wikimedia

There's also the problem of my boyfriend. We've only been dating since February, and it's been long distance from Oklahoma to Philly all this time. We really care about each other and don't want to call it quits because of this opportunity I have. But over a year long distance is a long time, especially once I'm in France and we'll have the problem of time zones! So in order to make this work, I'm trying to find a job and sublet in Philly so we can spend the summer together before I leave in the fall for France. (If anyone wants to sublet my apartment in Norman, hmu!!)

So basically a lot is happening, my head is constantly spinning, and I just keep telling myself it will all be ok. Will it be? Ha, who knows...