"Brother, I would be no help against a creature of that ferocity. Allow me to stand guard at the mouth of the cave. This way, if the creature is victorious, I could finish off the wounded animal before he went back out into the world." The older brother shook his head in frustration, but didn't bother to waste time arguing.
From the mouth of the cave, the younger brother could hear the loud noises of an intense battle. Shaking in his boots, he awaited the outcome. "What if I cannot even finish off the animal if he comes out?" he wondered. "Perhaps I should protect the world, no matter the cost." And so the younger brother used all the nearby rocks he could to seal off the mouth of the cave, shame burning in his heart.
Years passed. The younger brother had a wife and kids, but he always regretted his decision to kill his brother. A decision he made out of cowardice. One day, a messenger came. It was from a kingdom he had never heard of. The messenger said he was summoned to appear before the king and stand trial for murder. He couldn't understand what this was about, but he appeared before the king, simply to clear his name. While he did feel the guilt of a murderer, there was no way anyone could possibly know about it.
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| A king on his throne. (Bible card of Jehoiakim) Source: Wikipedia |
"I have no idea your majesty! I am innocent of this crime!"
"Let me tell you a story. There once were two brothers. The younger betrayed the eldest who always acted out of love and bravery. The cowardly young brother left him to die. However, the elder brother found a way to escape the evil plot of the younger brother. He crossed the path of a great, elderly king who took pity on the brother. The king who had no children treated the brother like a son. So that when the king died, the brother inherited the kingdom. He was a good and righteous king, beloved by all. However, he was plagued by the knowledge that his murderous younger brother was free to wreck havoc on the world."
Recognition spread across the younger brother's face. He begged for mercy, but the king had hardened his heart against his younger brother for years. His brother's tears could not move the king, and the brother was executed the following day.
Author's Note: For retelling the story of the monkey brothers, I decided to tell it from the perspective of the younger brother who was truly a coward and must suffer the consequences of his actions. While he did not act out of hatred, he wasn't good for trying to kill his brother either, even if it was to stop the creature.
Sugriva's Story. Rama and the Monkeys by Geraldine Hodgson (1903).
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I really didn't expect this turn of events! Your story does a really great job at subverting what I expected from the original story. I sensed a hint of it doing that when the younger brother insisted he stay outside and gave up on his older brother without waiting for too long. It was also really surprising that the brother turned out to be the king, although I could infer that from the description of him when the brother went to see him. I do think the dialogue between the older and younger brother after the older brother became king could have been enhanced if some stuff was left inferred. Maybe the younger brother could come to the conclusion and state it instead of the king explaining it? Anyways I really enjoyed the writing, it feels like it's from an epic like the original source and the ending made me think of 'what could have been' with the Ramayana.
ReplyDeleteWow I really enjoyed the language and creativity used here in this text! This story definitely had some twists and turns that were super unique to the way you tell a story. The contrast between the younger son and the older king brought a reality to the story. I enjoyed how this was written from an outside perspective of justice and how justice had to served in this story, even with how sad it was. This happens today and is true of the world we live in. Thanks for sharing your writing talent with us and look forward to continuing to read your stories!
ReplyDeleteWow! I love your story! I think it is so cool that you replaced the monkey people with kings! I love the way that you incorporated elements in the Ramayana to make this story truly your own and original. One thing that really stood out to me was the feeling of the brothers when they met each other. Thanks for sharing your story!
ReplyDeleteGreat story Jillian! I really thought you were original with creating your whole version of this story. I think that you do a great job of keeping with the original theme of the story but making it your own as well. You do a great job of describing the events of the story especially with the big change. Keep up the great work!
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